Chat Log Part I

I logged into Dai’s Facebook account in November 2016 and downloaded a copy of her chat log. I was able to do that because Dai’s Facebook password was a password we used for our common accounts, including Amazon, her college application site, and other sites. I came up with that password. I was morally shocked and disgusted by what I saw.

These messages run backwards, from bottom skyward, as that is how downloaded Facebook chat history looked like, at least at the time I downloaded it in 2016. The snippets I publicize here don’t necessarily have a chronological order.

Upon discovering my log-ins, Dai immediately started deleting her Facebook chats in bulk, because the last thing she wanted was to let other people see them. There were signs indicating earlier history expunging as well: extended periods missing in her chats with several white male individuals. She also set up a new Facebook account and told her friends that I was cyber-harassing her, inciting new waves of hatred against me. Afraid that I would show other people these outrageous messages filled with hate, racism, and sexism, she deepened my isolation by telling my friends I had mental issues and asking her friends and my friends not to believe anything I said.

Throughout my relationship with Dai Li, I have only once made a record of her messages after seeing her horrifying and inexcusable chats. That was reviled by her and her white male friends as “making things up” and “cyber attacks”. When she needed a temporary phone for a few days, I gave her one of my old phones, on which she discovered my chat logs with my ex from several years ago. She flipped at those messages, transferring a copy of them to her computer and yelling at me. I guess I will be talking more about this under the Power and Control Wheel.

I will be posting some screenshots from her chat history. Due to the vastness of her Facebook chat log, I couldn’t possibly go through everything. I have only been able to snap the most direct, paradigmatic, and morally appalling messages and put them here. Apart from overt suggestions of violence, there are a lot of other messages fraught with subtle racism and abusive language directed toward me. I might be able to add them to this blog gradually.

I have decided against redacting the names in these chats, because I know otherwise Dai would insist I made up these chat logs. I defy these people to come out and own up to their words. I defy them to call me a CHINK, a DOUCHE, a LIAR, despicable and myriad other things again. If you harbor intensive hate against an Asian person who you have never met, so much so you never hesitate to make death threats to them, why not make it public? I am lucky I have not been lynched, like Emmett Till was.

This is what happened, how it happened, when it happened, where it happened; and I am not leaving out the who. I know by doing so I am making myself susceptible to new waves of racist attacks, but I really have no other option.